Stumbling his way to the kitchen rubbing his package with one hand and his eye with the other Jimmie attempted to decide what manner of sustenance he would like to put in his stomach for the morning meal. Deciding that maybe toast would be a good start while he contemplated additional options he put some bread in the toaster oven and went to the bathroom to relieve himself.
Returning, his bleary eyes detected smoke and he went to the toaster oven and grabbed the handle, quickly jerking his hand away as the heat registered. Cursing, he located a cloth to open the door with and removed the charred toast. What the hell, he thought to himself, is going on. He checked the settings on the oven. Nothing out of the ordinary. He shrugged and started over.
Neal wandered in and sniffed the air. “Burnt toast, roomie”, he intoned and opened the fridge for a gander.
“You think maybe?” Jimmie asked.
“I’m pretty sure, man.”
“I don’t know what’s up with this toaster oven, it’s been misbehaving for days now.” Jimmie was still peeved.
“Works fine for me, man. Never heard William complain about it either. Must be operator error.”
Jimmie briefly fantasized about strangling his room mate. “Not even! It’s been weird lately, I tell you. I make sure it’s set right, and then it either burns my stuff or doesn’t do anything to it. It’s bumming me out.”
William came bopping in to the kitchen scratching his head. “What’s the racket all about, roomies?”
Neal rolled his eyes. “Jimmie’s convinced the toaster oven’s got some evil mojo workin’. He burnt his toast.”
Jimmie turned on his room mate. “For shit’s sake, man, I done told you it ain’t me, that toaster is cursed man, I swear it!”
William crunched an apple and eyed Jimmie. “You’re right, you know. I didn’t know it was doing it to you now, but our last room mate, well…”
Jimmie’s eyes went wide. “What? What do you mean?”
William yawned. “Oh, Sam. Man, he had no end of trouble with that thing. But, you know, we couldn’t afford a new one. Funny how it only seems to mess with one person in the house at a time. I think that was why he moved out, come to think of it. I tried to tell him how to get some peace, but he wouldn’t listen.” William yawned and turned to go.
“Wait, man, what do you mean ‘get some peace’, there’s a way to stop this?”
William turned around. “Well, yeah, but…I don’t know, you’d think it was stupid…” He started to leave again.
“No, wait man, I’m listening. Tell me what I have to do.” Jimmie was eager. William considered and then sat down at the kitchen table.
“Well, it’s like this, man. I don’t know what’s possessing that thing, but it just wants respect from time to time. You have to make offerings to it, and then it stops messing with you. I can’t really explain it, man. It all started a couple of years ago.”
Jimmie was all ears. “What kind of offerings, man?”
Neal was rapt. He sat down at the table too.
William took a deep breath. “It seems to want things that are valuable to you, man. Whatever that may be. I don’t know, it just wants respect, that’s all I know.”
Jimmie thought for a moment. “Well, all I got really is the stuff I sell, you know? But…I don’t know, what would a toaster oven want with some weed, man? Seems strange…”
William shrugged. “Whatever man. Might be worth a try.”
“Well, how do I offer it?”
“I guess you could just put it in the oven and see what happens, man.”
Jimmie went to his room and came back with a nice bud. “Do you think this will do?”
“Don’t know man. Give it a go. Put it in there and see what happens tomorrow morning.”
The next morning Jimmie went to the kitchen, eager to see what was up. He opened the oven cautiously and peeked in. The bud was gone. He got some bread and put it in the oven and waited. A minute later he touched the door cautiously. Opening it, he saw two beautifully golden pieces of toast. He was beside himself.
“Hey, dudes, it worked! My toast is awesome, man!”
William and Neal came in to the kitchen to see what the commotion was about.
“Far out, man. It worked, eh?” Neal was grinning
“Yeah, how long you think I have to keep doing this?”
Neal looked at William and shrugged. “As long as you want it to behave, I guess”
Jimmie nodded his head. “All right. I can do that.” He took his toast and headed for his room.
William grinned at Neal. I guess we won’t be needing to buy weed any more for awhile, eh?”
