“So? Where is she?”. Mike took another swig of his beer and set it down on the table. “She’ll be here, not to worry. She’s been here the last three nights in a row, I tell you. Just wait.” Jason gave him a doubtful look, but no sooner had he done so then in she waltzed. Jason couldn’t believe his eyes. It was just as his mate had said. A gorgeous girl in the weirdest getup he’d ever seen. Sort a silver lame’ thing with pink tail feathers and a matching hat. crikey!
“See? What did I tell you?” Mike exclaimed. “Is she all that or what?”. Jason looked her over again. “Yeah. Yeah she is. But are you gonna go through with it?” he leered.
Mike had told his buddy about her a couple nights before. The strange chick he’d seen at this little out of the way club in the inner city. He’d come back a couple of times just to see if she was a regular, and sure enough, she was. But the funny thing was, none of the guys in this crowded club ever made a move. They all stood back and let her walk on by. So, having had maybe a couple of beers to many when he was recounting all this to Jason, he’d allowed as how he was sure he could bag her. Jason had jumped on that, and now there was money riding on it. And Mike, well, Mike was starting to regret. As you do.
“So?”, Jason asked pointedly. Mike rubbed his face with one hand and put his beer down. “Yeah, yeah, i’m on it. Just watch this.” He stood up, perhaps a little slowly, and made his way across the room to the bar where she was standing, conveniently alone. He moved in next to her, casually, he hoped. “Hi there. My name’s Mike.”
Lydia turned her head slowly and met his eyes. “How nice for you”, she smiled. Great, Mike thought to himself, that was smooth. She looked at him again and a slight smile played at the corners of her mouth. “Lydia”. “Lydia. Nice name.” Wow, he thought, i’m a regular Cary Grant, I am. Maybe I should just quit while i’m ahead. Lydia turned back to the bar but said, “Isn’t this where you ask me if you can buy me a drink?”.
Mike did his best to retain what composure he still had and glaced sideways toward where Jason was sitting, grinning from ear to ear. “Absolutely!” he said. “Shall we have a seat?”. As they settled in he started to make some small talk, but Lydia cut him off. “So, what do you want?” she asked as she too took a sip of her drink.
Mike nearly spilled beer down the front of his shirt. “Um…well, I…I saw you there, and I just…” he trailed off and waved his hand helplessly. Damn. Lydia leaned across the table. “You saw me there, and you thought, I wonder if that chick in the strange getup is available? Is that it?”. “Um, well, I…” Mike turned it over in his head for a tick. “Yeah. Ok. Yeah, is there something wrong with that?” Turn the tables. What the hell. Lydia sat back and allowed herself a self-satisfied smirk. Then she squared her shoulders and got back to it. “No, not at all”, she smiled. “But if you want me to leave here with you, you’re going to have to prove to me you really, really want it.”
Ok, Mike thought to himself. Whatever it takes. “Ok. Whatever.” “Whatever?” she asked coyly. “Yeah, what have you got in mind?” “Oh, it’s pretty simple really”, Lydia shrugged. “All you have to do is stand up, take off your pants, put my cute little hat on your head, and we walk on out”, she said, casting her eyes downward and fluttering her eyelashes. “You can do that, can’t you?”.
Mike’s jaw dropped slightly. He had that possum in the headlights look, he knew, but he couldn’t help it. “You’re joking, right?” “No. ” Lydia said simply, casting her eyes about the room. Mike’s mind was racing. Damn. He needed to win this bet. And he sure wouldn’t mind taking little miss strange home with him. He drained his beer and stood up. “You better not be putting me on”, he said. He reached up and undid his trousers and stepped out of them. All heads in the room turned in unison, and a stunned silence fell over the room. He reached over and took her hat and put it on his head. Lydia stood up matter-of-factly and smiled sweetly at him. She picked up his pants and took him by the hand as she led him toward the door. Hoots and laughter followed them, but Mike kept his eyes on the prize.
As they reached the door Lydia moved her hand to the small of his back and shoved him through, grabbing her hat off his head as she did. She took the door and swung it shut, deftly flipping the lock. The pounding and cursing began immediately. She walked over to where Jason sat bug-eyed and dropped the pants in his hands. “I think you better take your mate home now”, she said and walked over to where her girlfriend Sandra sat in stunned silence. As Lydia sat down, Sandra reached in her purse and took out a hundred dollar note and slid it across the table. “You’re a piece of work”, she said, shaking her head. “I don’t know how you do it.” Lydia tucked it between her breasts. “It’s the attitude”, she shrugged. “Works every time.”