The thing you gotta remember is that hearsay is unreliable. That’s why they don’t allow it in trials, that’s a fact. So you don’t wanna go believing stuff you heard without like, checkin’ it out or somethin’. I been thinkin’ about this a lot today. Especially when I look at Ralph. I don’t know why I ever got involved with Ralph. It was never gonna come to any good.
Anyway, I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Troy. You don’t need to know my other name, it’s not real important or nothin’. I’m just Troy. And let me tell ya, it ain’t easy being me. My folks were no damned good. My old man used to get shit-faced and beat the crap of me, and my mother, well, I won’t even go there. Not for nothin’, but I ain’t never had it real good. I’ll bet you have. I’ll bet you’ve had some lucky breaks. Not me. That’s for sure. So don’t go thinkin’ you got any right to judge me. Because you don’t.
You probably think this place looks like a dump, eh? Yeah, I guess you’d be right about that. Me and Ralph, we ain’t exactly Martha Stewart disciples, you know? Besides, it looked a lot better before the little altercation me and Ralph had. I’m still mad at Ralph. See, it all started when he wouldn’t stop carpin’ at me about the job we did this mornin’. A simple bank job, that’s what it was gonna be. In and out, that’s how it was supposed to go. Ralph was the bagman, and I was keepin’ the customers glued to the floor with my shotgun.
So anyway, there I was, doin’ my thing while Ralph was gathering up the money, and this idiot security guard ups and reaches for his gun. I told him not to move, you know? I told him and he should have just done like I said. I didn’t really mean to blow his brains out. I was just gonna scare him a little to put him back in line. Anyway, Ralph starts cursin’ me out and we hightail it out of there and back to the pad.
We got away clean, that’s what I’m thinkin’ to myself, but Ralph, well, he gets paranoid sometimes. Anyway, he won’t let it go. He just keeps at me about it. Why’d you go and off that guard you dumb shit, stuff like that. I don’t like it when Ralph talks to me like that. I told him so, too. But does he listen? No, he don’t. Sometimes I think Ralph ain’t too bright.
The thing is, maybe he was sorta right about me stuffin’ up. I mean, I don’t know how it happened, but I think my wallet must have fallen out of my pocket, on account of I can’t find the damn thing. And now I can hear the sirens wailing. They’re getting closer and closer. And Ralph is just sittin’ there on the sofa with that knife stickin’ out of his chest. What an asshole. I told him to stop hammerin’ on me, but would he listen? No, he wouldn’t. Stupid schmuck.
There ain’t no way out of here. I can see them in the street now. It ain’t easy bein’ me. Never has been. The barrel of the .45 feels cold against the under side of my chin. Don’t go believing everything they say about me in the papers.