He cast his eyes over the assembly and began. “First off I’d like to say I’m very dismayed by the mess you’ve made of this planet. It’s in far worse condition than any of the other inhabited planets in the universe and that’s saying a lot.”
A murmur ran though the room and he raised a finger to his lips.
“I left you one of my finest creations and you’ve failed utterly to take care of it. Shame on all of you. Global warming, as you call it, is a reality. It’s high time you faced the facts and made the necessary changes.”
He gave pointed looks to the seats of the most powerful countries. Each of them looked away as he did.
“Stewardship of my creations is expected of all. This is the only race of beings in the universe to not take that duty seriously. I will expect immediate correction of this failure of duty. The resulting consequences of not doing so will be complete annihilation of the human race.”
He fixed the chamber with a hard look before any more talk could ensue.
“Now then, your record on getting along with each other also leaves much to be desired. Ever since I put you here you’ve devoted more energy to finding ways to kill each other than you have finding ways to peacefully coexist. You should be ashamed of yourselves.”
Some of the members began squirming in their seats.
“The primary reason for all of this discord is apparently your foolish adherence to stuff and nonsense that has grown up around the nature of my existence. I have had a look at all of your so-called holy books and I am appalled at the rubbish you have attributed to me.”
He looked around the chamber but none dared to meet his eyes.
“None of that crap is anything more than a cynical attempt to control the masses and further the agendas of those who claim to speak in my name. This more than anything has been the reason I have come here today. I will give you one chance to put an end to this nonsense and to clean up this jewel that you inhabit. I also expect you to rid yourself of your weapons of mass destruction and to reach out to each other and learn to live in peace.”
He looked out a sea of faces both angry and confused. He was unimpressed.
“I will brook no nonsense. You will be under constant scrutiny and if you fail to follow my instructions I will start over. I will return this planet to its former glory and put a different race of beings in your place.”
He turned away for a moment and then turned back to the microphone.
“That is all. I expect you to begin immediately.”
With that he vanished into thin air leaving the assembly gasping. Immediately a hue and cry arose to such levels that the Secretary General, aroused from his torpor, stood up and called in vain for order.
Reappearing on his spacecraft the intruder was laughing hard. His second in command glared at him.
“Why must you do these things? These are such simple beings. Crude, yes, but did they really deserve that?”
“Of course they did. They’ll be the better for it, mark my words. Besides, it’s all that silly religion crap that causes them such misery. If they choose to believe in a supreme being then they get what they deserve. They’re scared shitless now and that’s as it should be. We’ll come back in a few of their years and see what’s become of them. Come; let’s find another planet in some other galaxy. I’m just getting warmed up.”
The second in command shook his head and gave the order to take them into hyperspace.