Pronouncments From The Throne – Part 2 – The End

Blinking and turning away Tom tried to figure out what was going on. Louis had always seemed like a pretty straight up guy.

“Louis, toilets don’t talk.”

“I know that Tom. Really I do. But I also know what I heard and where it was coming from. It freaked me out big time.”

Tom shook his head. “Yeah, I’m sure. But it hasn’t happened since?”

“Well, it didn’t happen this morning.”

“I don’t know what to tell you Louis. That’s too weird.” He got up to go back to work and then turned back and whispered. “I wouldn’t go broadcasting this around, you know?”

With that he was gone. Louis finished his coffee and went back to work. By the time he got home that night he was over the matter. He decided it must have been some sort of fluke and that was that.

He went out for dinner again and then met up with some friends for a couple of drinks before returning home and getting ready for bed. He was standing at the bathroom sink brushing his teeth when the nightmare returned.

“I’m telling there’s no way this is going to stand. I won’t have. You hear me?”

He whirled around and stared at the toilet. This was madness. He crept over to it and peered into the bowl.

“I don’t care what you think. It’s not going to stand.”

Feeling his face flush and his pulse begin to race he went back to the sink and spit out his toothpaste and rinsed his mouth. As he turned out the light he heard the voice one more time.

“Screw you too!”

He closed the bathroom and door and went to bed. As he lay there trying to fall asleep he made a decision. The next morning before he left for work he got on the phone to the landlord.

“Yes, that’s right Mr. Wilson. I’m sorry but my decision is final. What? It’s just not the right place for me, that’s all. I’ll vacate the premises tonight. If you could refund my deposit tomorrow that would be greatly appreciated.”

He felt better by the time he got to work. Tom inquired about the situation and he told him he had decided to move out and left it at that. He made a call to the movers at lunchtime and told them to keep his stuff in storage until he found a new place. That evening he packed the few things he had brought with him into his car and drove to the home of friend that had agreed to let him stay until he could find a suitable place. He dodged questions about why the change of heart.

He got a call from the landlord the next day telling him his deposit had been refunded to his account.

“Louis, are you sure you won’t tell me why you changed your mind? You really liked the place when you moved in.”

“I know Mr. Wilson. I’d rather not talk about it though. I…tell me, was anyone ever…killed in that apartment?”

“What? No, not that I know about anyway. I’ve owned it for over twenty years now. It’s a great place.”

“Okay well thanks.”

Ed Wilson hung up the phone and scratched his head. Strange guy he thought. He waited outside the building for the new prospective tenant he had lined up. He arrived a short time later and Ed took him upstairs for a look at the apartment.

“Nice place. How long as it been available?”

“Well, a guy rented it a few days ago but he changed his mind. I’ve never had trouble renting it in the past. Nice place, good views. The apartment downstairs rented to a new person a couple of months ago and when this one was being repainted the workmen said something about voices in the bathroom. Turned out to be the guy downstairs. Sometimes when he talks on his cell phone in his bathroom you can hear it in this one but it shouldn’t be any big deal.”

“Okay, well, it looks great. I’ll write you a check for the deposit.”

The End


One response to “Pronouncments From The Throne – Part 2 – The End

  1. Haha! Poor guy. I bet if he knew it’ll be a face palm moment

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