“Dude, what’s up?”
“Mike! Oh god man, you won’t believe what’s happened. Diane came over last night. I think she drugged me, man. I woke up about ten minutes ago sick as a dog. Dude, she fucking handcuffed me to my bed!”
He waited for the laughter to subside, gritting his teeth as he did. He needed help and it wouldn’t do to get pissed off at the one person he could trust to get him out of this mess.
“Okay, you done now?”
“Sorry man, I’m just picturing you laying there handcuffed to the bed. Damn, what did you do to piss her off?”
“Well, I broke up with her a few days ago. That’s for starters. Then I guess she heard I picked up a chick at the Blue Giraffe while she was away on business. This is bad. Can you help me out?”
“Sure man. Damn, I remember you telling me about that chick. You filmed the whole thing, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. If I find out who ratted me out…”
“Uh huh. Anyway, I guess you need me to come over with a hacksaw and set you free huh?”
“I would be eternally grateful. The key might be here somewhere but I’m in no position to look for it, so yeah, bring something to cut me free. Oh, one other thing, the handcuffs aren’t the only thing she did. She…well, she used some super glue on me so when you get here…oh, never mind, I’ll just pull a sheet up over me.”
“Wait a minute, are you saying she…oh man, this is unreal, she glued your Johnson to your stomach?”
“How did you know?”
More hysterical laughter. Jeremy held the phone away from his ear and began grinding his teeth.
“Sorry man. It wasn’t hard to figure out when you mentioned the superglue. Damn, that was cold-blooded. A woman scorned, eh?”
“I guess. Just get over here and rescue me. Oh, and Mike, not a word of this to anyone.”
“Yeah, no sweat man. I’ll just go look for my hacksaw and head out. Key still under the flowerpot?”
“Yeah. Thanks man, I owe you.” Jeremy put the phone down and stared at the ceiling. Of all the people to have to depend on he thought. Mike wasn’t the most reliable sort but his other friends had gone out of town on a camping trip. Despite saying he wouldn’t tell anyone Jeremy knew this would eventually get around. Diane was going to have to pay and that was a fact.
He moved around the bed as much as he could and looked for the key to the handcuffs. He managed to get his head far enough over one side to look underneath but he didn’t find anything. The more he moved around the stronger the urge to relieve himself became. He reached down and tried to determine how bad the situation was.
He was firmly glued to himself. He thought about it and realized that if he let go he was going to end up peeing in his own face. Probably just what she was hoping would happen. He wasn’t got to let that be the case. He looked around and saw a beer can on the nightstand and slid his way across the bed as far as he could. It was just out of reach.
He strained against the handcuff and at last he could get a finger into the opening and pull it down on the bed. Thanking his lucky stars he placed the opening against himself as best he could and let go. Piss went flying everywhere including onto his chest and all over the sheets. When he was done he picked up the can and placed it on the floor next to the bed. Then he lay back and let the humiliation wash over him.
Part 3 Tomorrow