“…So last night she says to me, hey, you know what? You’re the sexiest man I’ve ever met. Can you believe that?”
Jeff nearly choked on his beer. “No, Jerry, I sure can’t.” Wiping his mouth, he added under his breath, “Are you sure she wasn’t laughing when she said it?”
“What was that?”
“Oh, nothing. Just thinking out loud. So, you wanna go fishing tomorrow? I hear they’re really biting out at the lake.”
“Oh, man, that would be great, but I’ll have to see if Sheila has anything planned first.”
“What? Now look, Jerry, this is…”
“It’ll probably be fine, just let me check, all right? Sheesh.”
Jeff bit his tongue and changed the subject. “I wonder what the score is in the game. I’m gonna ask the bartender to turn on the set.” He wandered off to the bar shaking his head. When he got back Jerry was sitting there staring off into space with a dreamy look on his face.
“You know, Jerry…”
“Did I tell you what she said the other day about my car? She said it really suited me. That only a macho guys like me look good driving cars like that. She always knows just the right thing to say. I wonder how she does it.”
Jeff couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Yeah, that’s some spooky talent all right. You’d think she was psychic or something.” I’ve got to say something soon, he thought to himself.
“Anyway, I can’t believe how lucky I am, you know? I mean, she could have any guy she wanted, she’s so hot.”
Jeff couldn’t resist rolling his eyes. “Yeah, well, I guess she’s just got really good taste. Or something.”
“Aw, thanks, man. I’m really lucky to have you for a best friend, you know that?”
Feeling like a jerk, Jeff tried to work up his courage. “Listen, Jerry, I think you should…”
“You know what really amazes me though? The way she’s always so happy. She never complains about anything. Maybe I shouldn’t be telling you this, it’s really personal, but she’s also, you know, always ready.” Jerry winked at his friend.
Excusing himself to go to the bathroom, Jeff simply had to get away for a minute. Washing his hands, he gave himself a good talking to in the mirror. He’s your best friend. He needs to hear the truth. But what if he can’t handle the truth? He’s so happy. But he’s also delusional. How could he…no, it had to be done. I’m his friend; I should be looking out for him. Even if it’s hard. Gotta do the right thing.
He headed back to the table and there was Jerry again with that dopey look on his face. Man, this was bad.
“Listen, Jerry, we need to talk. I…”
“You having some sort of trouble, Jeff? I’m here for you man. You can talk to me about anything. Really. What is it?”
“Well, it’s just…it’s about Sheila. You see…”
“Oh, wait a minute! Don’t tell me you’re falling for my woman! Oh man, how could you Jeff? You’re my best friend, I thought I could trust you!”
“What? No. No, that’s not it!” Jeff drained his beer. This wasn’t going well. “Look, Jerry, I know you’re really happy with her, but you need to come back down to earth man, she’s…”
“She’s what? You better watch what you say, man! She’s my girl. Don’t you start talking crap about her.”
Picking up Jerry’s beer and draining that one too, Jeff looked his friend in the eye. “Listen Jerry, I think you need to get yourself in to therapy. This thing has gone too far. You’re in love with a…”
“With a what? A slut? Is that what you’re trying to say? She’s not a slut! I mean, yeah, she’s always willing, but…”
“Damn it, Jerry, listen to me! If I stuck a pin in her she’d deflate! You need help, man!”
Jerry jumped up and put his hands on his hips. “You know what, Jeff? You’re just jealous because we’re in love. You’re a cruel man, Jeff!” With that, he turned and left.